So here I am, posting a pointless journal entry. Well, I will come on the Internet every once in a while to post pics or whatever but it'll be at my boyfriend's house. I will write fanfics but it might happen at school so updates on FF.net will be very rare for me.

I trust that a lot of people have grown to like my two epic new OCs, Kenshin and Aoi. If ya want, you guys can collab with me on FF.net so I can make this fanfic about Aoi and her life. I am stuck on pairings for it but I was thinking either Hitsugaya or Ulquiorra. Anyone wanna vote on them?

Also for the collab, I will trust that the one I collab with will be able to update the fanfic for me. I'll allow them to post the fanfic on their account but I have to have my pen name there so I won't be left out. Here are some fanfic/chapter titles for it. All of them are inspired by Reop! The Genetic Opera. Check it out! The titles are not in order of chapter number, they're just suggestions. Some chapters are gonna be named after the titles of some of the Repo! The Genetic Opera songs. Just so you know, check out some of them!

Genetics <--------fanfic title
Genes <------fanfic title

I can go the distance <------chapter title
Genetic Emancipation <------chapter title
Infected <--------chapter title
Seventeen <-------chapter title
Legal Assassin <-----chapter title
Things You See in a Graveyard <-------chapter title
Let the Monster Rise <-----chapter title
Didn't Know I'd Love You So Much <-----chapter title
Thankless Job <-----chapter title
Night Surgeon <-----chapter title
Mark It Up <------chapter title

Those are the suggestions and if the person I collab with uses them, here would be their order of how it would go. Keep in mind that Night Surgeon is gonna be the rape chapter...just so you know. These are just some chapters. There will be more obviously.

Thankless Job (kidnap)
Night Surgeon (rape)
Let the Monster Rise (abuse and escape)
Infected (pregnant)
Things You See in a Graveyard (witness death and wounds inflicted on the ones I care about*)
Legal Assassin (death of Aizen by my hand)
Seventeen (her growing up)
I can go the Distance (her time in the Academy)
Genetic Emancipation (her father's identity known and family reunion)

Give me more chapter titles that you want to give me. I hope you like this idea guys. I also need villains in it and roleplaying with me is my way of collabing. =]

* = Most of the Gotei 13 (except Mayuri) send me a note for the full list

Alrighty then! I am now back to drawing ever since my hiatus. I still have my scanner but since my laptop ain't workin', I have to use my camera to post new pictures. That's why some of the quality sucks. Anyways, I'm up for roleplaying Bleach and art requests, so send me a note if ya want to do either! Go for it! Peace out homies!

~Miko Hayashi

Man I'm sorry for not posting a new journal in awhile. It's been a long time guys. A lot has happened like my drawing is getting better and I'm with someone! <3 yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah lol Send me a note.

I've been out of it and not myself lately for reasons unknown. I think I'm PMSing but I don't know. I cried myself to sleep on saturday and my best friend and I got into another fight. At least, we made up at the end of the day. My boyfriend and I have also had arguments but he doesn't wanna break up with me nor do I wanna break up with him. I cried today cuz he smoked with my best friend and got her in trouble. He felt so terrible and apologized and we both made a promise: If I complain a lot less then he will quit smoking. Any other advice y'all can give me?

I'm sorry I haven't been on in awhile but the wireless modem has been a complete aggravating situation.

I've been at school as well, trying to get my Algebra II grade back up.

I haven't been too happy with myself on the inside. I feel fuckin' dead to everyone even though I fool people into thinking I'm happy and overjoyed. I realized how deseparate I am for a relationship that I'm crushing on a guy that I'm pretty sure, with no doubt, never, ever go out with me let alone touch me with a 10-foot pole. I've been rather lonely and it really hurts...it hurts a lot.

I've been noticing that I have dropped my fangirly-ness ever since I have been proven as a total nutjob and annoying bitch. I agree I am an annoying bitch and that no guy would ever touch me, kiss me, or give me the love I've always wanted.

I've been wanting to cry but the tears never come. They cease to show themselves. I have been so utterly depressed that if I told anyone how I felt inside, I'd probably need a ton of therapy visits. I feel like hurting myself because only a tiny portion of my friends actually care and so do my family...well family always cares.

I need people to be close friends and always stay in touch. I've been in a dead situation on the inside since school started. I don't know...I've been feeling a lot worse about my drawings cuz when I look at my devWatch and the art my friends create, I feel outmatched and blown out of the competition or whatever it's called. Sometimes I feel closed out from everyone, only an outcast to everyone, even my friends. What does this all mean?

Why I have been feeling this way is a total mystery to me and the more I think about it, the more my depression deepens. I need the love from y'all here on dA that watch me, read my comments and journals, and comment on my art and although I have my family and friends, I want to have my first relationship cuz frankly I've been made fun of for not having one at all.

Can y'all please comment on this journal and give me your input on how I feel? I appreciate you for taking your time in reading this. It really means a lot to me. Thank you and I love ya all.

P.S. Dyarika...I'm sorry for bein' a bitch to you and when I look at your pictures, I feel more depressed and outmatched by your artistic skill for I could not possibly surpass your effort you put in your work. Tell me if you think otherwise. I know I may be making myself miserable but I think your pictures of Grimmjow and your OC are really cool...better than any of my pictures will ever be. I can't really place my OC Miko with any Bleach bishounen (guy) for she and I are the same person...two personalities within one body. If I cannot acquire a boyfriend then she can't either...unless you really think there's a male Bleach character she could be nicely paired up with. I'm sorry for my ignorant, bitchy attitude towards how you are with your pics of your OC and Grimmjow but other than that, I think Grimmjow is cool but he kinda sounds like a cowboy in English on Bleach: Shattered Blade hence another nickname he acquired as Kitty Kat Cowboy. I'll explain that later if you send me a nice, considerate note.

P.S.S. Sorry for bein' like this but with my feelings for my crush mixed with utter jealousy, my place on the relationship scale everyone else has (mine being at zero as well as my friend Renji), my low self-esteem and self-doubt on my art, and so on. Comment on this journal, send me a note, and keep your comments flame-free. I use the flames to make my s'mores which make me happy. TT_TT